TEEN: REFUSES TO DO SOMETHING/MEET AT 8 O’CLOCK

If you have seen my parenting video, you heard me talk about the power of an eight o’clock meeting. For example, your teen comes into the house, talks to you like you are something the cat dragged in and starts to leave the room.  First, you want the teen to be looking at you when you speak, “Stop, please. Turn around and listen to me.”  If your teen uses agitated body language, ignore it. “I have the funniest ears,” you say in a calm, quiet tone of voice, “They can’t listen when you use that tone of voice. I want you to repeat what you just said without the tone of voice that caused the problem.”

If your teenager tries to “blow you off” with, “Mom, I’m just tired!” and walk out of the room, say, “Stop please. You are at choice right now. We can have this talk now or at eight o’clock tonight.”  If your teen walks out of the room, wait until eight o’clock, go and get him or her, go to the dining room and sit and talk about respect, manners and whatever you want --for 20 minutes. I promise you, your teen will never choose to meet you at eight o’clock again.

Why eight o’clock? Most of the TV shows they like the best are on at that time. Why go to the dining room? It is the most boring room in your home. Children hate to be bored. Any time you can use boring, it is your best ally.

Copyright (C) Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel, 2000