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NAME CALLING, SWEARING, SPITTING

Sometimes, nothing you can do--even spanking a child-- may not stop that child from (name calling, swearing, spitting). Instead of spanking or other forms of violence, take the fun out of such activities by using boredom as your ally.

Your child calls his sister a “dumb-dumb” or worse. “We have a rule in our home that we are kind to each other. Name calling is not kind.” The child stubbornly continues to call the child the same name. Take the child to his/her room. Sit on the child’s bed and have the child say the name. Each time the child says, “dumb-dumb”, you say, “Again, please.” At some point the child will say, “I don’t want to say it any more.” To that statement you respond, “I can’t make you talk. Until you say the word again, I will sit here and look at you. We will do nothing together.” An adult can sit and do nothing much longer than a child can. Have the child repeat the word many more times, then say, “We have a rule in our home that we are kind to each other. Name calling is not kind. If you choose to call anyone a name again, we will be back down here doing this again. Sometimes, I am not as clear as I would like to be, tell me what I just said.” If the child doesn’t know, repeat what you said and have the child tell you what you just said.

The same process works for stopping swearing. It may be difficult for you to ask a child to say the “S” word several times in a row--and I guarantee that the idea of having to say it forty more times (if the child uses that word again) becomes much more of a deterrent than another threat.

Spitting is quelled by spitting--many, many times in the toilet. “If you choose to spit on your sister again, you will be back here spitting in the toilet. Spitting is not kind. We have a rule in our home that we are kind to each other.”

Again, getting a powerful child to stop a behavior is very difficult. I have seen positive results, using boredom in the way I have just described.