ParentingSOS.com - Parenting Solutions

GOING TO BED AT NIGHT

Some children resist going to bed at night. A child is constantly checking out power; what is it, how do I use it? You set a boundary and the child asks, “Do you mean it?” In the case of wanting a fun day to go on longer, we understand the child’s point of view. It is, however, imperative that a single parent or set of parents have time during each day without children.

A parent, wanting their child to go to bed, might say, “You need your rest.” A child, who is checking out power looks inside, decides he/she isn’t even slightly tired and refutes your message by staying up very late. The problem is the verbiage; change your words to, “It is time for (me/dad and me) to have time without children.”

Children like a menu: “You are going to brush your teeth, I will read you a story and then it is time for you to play quietly until you go to sleep.”

After the story is read (Please! Read to your children!), tell the child, “You may play quietly in your bed or read a book. If you choose to come out to where (I/daddy and I) are, one of us will bring you back to bed. We will not talk to you--not because we are angry, but because it is time for us to have time without children.”

Say goodnight and get ready for the “Do you mean it?” challenge. Take turns if you have a partner and simply walk the child back to his/her room without comment.

This process will get boring, so the child will opt to stay in his/her room.

Note: It takes time to walk a child down the hall three or four times until the message that you mean it is clear. It also takes energy you may not feel you have.

The responsibility of each parent is to teach a child to function successfully in the world. Learning about limits and boundaries is essential to that end.