ParentingSOS.com - Parenting Solutions

FIGHTING SPOILING OUTING FUN
(email Conversation)

QUESTION: When we go to do something fun, my kids always get upset when it is time to leave and we get into a big fight, which spoils the fun.

ANSWER: There are a few things to remember about how children play: (1) Children are 100% into every moment; they do not change gears rapidly. It is wise to provide a warning, “We will be going home in ten minutes. Play really hard and then it will be time to come with me.” Hold up one finger when their play time is almost over, and then call them into you. Any child who refuses to come will have the consequence of (sitting in the front seat of the car with you, not playing for the first few minutes when you get home as that child is sitting in the remembering chair, etc.)

If children misbehave on a fun outing, find a way to have a penalty box (yes, just like in hockey). The child gets to sit in the time out place for five minutes. It is boring to just sit and watch. Sitting there several times for a five minute section will get the attention of the child. Remember that some children feed off the energy in a crowd getting very wound up--this child needs some loving attention and a way to diffuse that wound up energy, like talking slowly, taking deep breaths while you stand quietly.