ParentingSOS.com - Parenting Solutions

CRIES TOO MUCH

PARENT: My children cry at the slightest thing. They cry too much. What is happening?

SANDY: I don’t have a lot of information to address this question. If you can see that crying is the way your children manipulate you, you will address this problem in a different way than meeting the needs of a really sensitive child. Do you get really bothered when your children cry? My guess is, yes. When one of your children doesn’t get his or her way it is a great strategy to cry. Why? It bothers you to the extent that you will give in and let the child have his/her way. What you are teaching your children is to be totally obnoxious in order to get their way. Is that the type of person you want to raise?

Make rules:
(1) If you ask for something and I say no.....and then you cry....I will walk to the other side of the room. I will say, “When you want to stop crying and talk to me, come and find me. I will not talk to you when you are fussing. “

(2) If you whine when you ask for something, the automatic answer is no.

** The word “excessive” is being addressed here. If the child is using crying as a manipulative behavior, it needs to stop. Otherwise, empathy and a little back rubbing will help your child get through a traumatic moment.

** If an unusual amount of crying continues, it might be wise to check with the child’s pediatrician. There may be a chemical imbalance. Excessive emotions can be the result of too much pollution in the body.

Recently, there was a program on television that addressed crying as a Personality issue. A very hyper child can be wound up even tighter by too much activity. The program suggested that reading to a child-- having a period of slow down activity--invites that child to get out of hyper-speed. One of the issues the program addressed was the need for structure in these children’s lives--to have a routine that the child could learn to adapt to--and to be consistent with these children.