Bossiness with friends usually has its own consequences. If the bossing is wa-ay out of control say, “OK, (name) you have been the (boss/mother) for awhile, now it is (name’s) turn to be the (mother/boss).”  If the child ignores your cue, let the other child decide if he/she wants to continue playing. It is important to teach children to work out their own issues.

If the child is bossing a sibling say, “Thanks for helping out today. (Name) has one mother and I am it. Please stop telling (him/her) what to do.  If you choose not to stop I will separate you. You will not be able to play together for awhile. Your choice.” 

Some children have way more personal power than other children. Some children are modeling a mis-use of power in their home. All children need to learn to work with their power or their needs in a positive way. It is important to teach a child not to be bossy without anger. Anger gives the message, “Not good enough”, which each child translates into “I am not good enough”-- and is not the message you want to give to any child. 

Copyright (C) Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel, 2000